Representing Friends and Family—How and When to Do It Well

While it might not seem complicated at first glance, there are many important factors for an attorney to consider before deciding whether to represent a friend or family member – and for a client to consider before hiring a friend or family member as their attorney.

The Potential Benefits of a Dual Relationship

The benefits of having a friend or family member for an attorney or client are obvious. First, you already know them and, therefore, have established a level of trust. The attorney may find it easier to be blunt in his/her delivery of advice to a trusted friend or family member, and a client may have an easier time receiving tough advice from a trusted friend. And of course, who doesn’t love a friends and family discount?!

The Potential Complications of a Dual Relationship

There are also reasons why, depending on the nature of the matter, an outside referral could be the best advice a lawyer can give to their friend or family member.

Here are a few things we consider when deciding whether to represent friends or family:

1. We get calls all the time from friends and family who want advice about a subject matter with which we have no experience. It can be hard for an attorney to say no. It may be tempting to try to figure out how to handle a novel issue in the name of service to a friend. The best intentions can backfire if an attorney dabbles in an unfamiliar area of law. At BDBF, our practice is to acknowledge what we do not know and use our connections to help our friend or family member locate another attorney with a good reputation and reasonable amount of experience in the area of law that they need.
2. Consider carefully how much is at stake. If your friend lost their case with you at the helm, would the two of you remain friends? If not, then it’s not worth risking the relationship. The wise attorney will refer the case to a colleague who will appreciate the referral and will stay in the background for moral support.
3. Can the attorney continue to offer objective and rational case analysis? Would the attorney be able to keep his/her own emotions out of the case, notwithstanding the personal relationship with a client? For example, could an attorney handle a case in which custody of their godson is at stake without interference from personal emotions? The risk is high that the attorney could not be able to put aside his/her own emotions any more than their client.
4. Lastly, money complicates relationships. Is the attorney charging a fee? Does the friend or family member expect a “friends and family discount” or special attention that other clients might not receive? Might the client expect the attorney to be available to them at odd hours and to put their case above all others? Will the attorney have the same ability to set boundaries with this friend or family member as they do with other clients?

At Bulman Dunie, we want our friends and family members to call us with any legal questions so that we can objectively assess whether it’s a matter we can or should handle. And if it’s not a matter we can or should handle, our decades of experience and extensive professional network mean we are well-equipped to help you find another attorney who is best suited to represent you.